Last week I taught my favorite private student some language to use when talking about accidents and injuries, just for fun really. Stuff like, "I totaled my car," and "I sprained my ankle" and "I had to wear a cast for six weeks." The next day he got into a motorcycle accident on one of the main thoroughfares in Tokyo, spraining and cutting his ankle (seven stitches worth) and arms and damaging his bike. So now he's limping everywhere and his bike has to undergo $2,500 of repairs. Yikes!

This week I taught him the phrase "lactose intolerance," amongst other things, and am a little nervous about turning up for next week's lesson. Fortunately, Starbucks (where we meet) has soy lattes. This is Japan, after all -- soy to the left, soy to the right.

The moral of this story? I can't even speculate. But I feel dangerous.