Still Medium: Dear Oprah,

This blog gets my opposite of goat!

Dear Oprah,

Published 2.24.2005 by E. Luther | E-mail this post

Seeing as I feel most real when speaking with you, Oprah, I want to tell a little story about being fooled . . . by rocks. All this time I've been telling people to not be fooled by the rocks that I got but, to tell you the truth, we all know that I'm only superficially Jenny From the Block . . . that's right! I wear many masks. In addition to Block-Jenny, I'm Jenny with a crapload of money and really nice hair and at least 10 Bentleys. YEAH! My whole theory has been reverse psychology, if you know what I'm saying, but today it turned around and bit me in the backside.

In short, I was riding across Tokyo Prefecture with my new bike, and I totally got fooled by the rocks that the JR line got, because I was all, "yo, Musashino Line -- you must be the Chuo Line . . . I'll just ride alongside you for the next 5 Kilometers until we get to the next station. and then the station after that until I realize that I am heading north instead of southwest, because I don't have a compass and it's too gray to navigate by the sunlight and I don't know the Kanji for 'north'," and then the Musashino Line was all, "hah! She's totally fooled by the rocks . . . that I got. And she's an idiot. So I won't tell her not to be fooled. ?."

So when it started to rain and then sleet and I was still riding around outside, I realized just how deceitful it is to fool someone . . . with rocks. So I'm coming clean. I am, of course, still Block-Jenny, but I fear I have been misrepresenting myself. Regardless, I still implore you to not be fooled by my rocks. It took me an entire afternoon of pensive thinking in my log cabin in the woods to come up with this manifesto, and I'm sticking to it: No fooling.

XOXOXO,
J-Lo

p.s. wow, that was a stretch. whatever.

Dear Oprah,

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