Did anyone else know that in order to receive television signals via satellite in Japan, one's satellite must be arranged by a trained professional in order to maximize its potential for picking up two signals simultaneously (a result of a many-years-ago buyout that totally reconfigured the industry)? Ridiculous! It makes me appreciate the ease of watching Sumo via tried-and-true rabbit ears at Keiyakidori Plaza.

Inspired by the recent influx of Haiku-based commentary, I've chosen this proven format as a framework for today's dual message:

Those Fifty-Seven
Ain't bad when you look so good,
Mom; Happy and Thing

English-Learners Claim
Groundhog's Day's bollocks, asking
"What is groundhog? Squirrel?"