This past weekend (and the week prior, including my Manpower retirement party and cash bonus) was p-r-e-t-t-y fun. But that is neither here nor there, because one can only type so much.

What is both here and there is the following true bigraphy of Da, the dashing native who makes a tribal cameo and then paddles off into the tsunami/sunset to the strains of a white women's negro spiritual chorus on the latest episode of this season's Survivor.

Somehow -- amazingly, really -- Da infiltrated the South Bend Power Hour scene this past weekend. You see, LSlevins needed Da to teach her the ways of proper machete use when she all of a sudden found her dungarees sliced across the knee at Finnegan's, a snafu that can be traced only to her vain attempt to hew a cocunut with improper form, and sans Da's comfort and guidance no less. Because, you see again, she really wanted some feta cheese from the Whole Foods on Survivor-Island, but without Da to either lead here there or gently correct her machete-weilding form, she succeeded only in ruining her pants. And where was Da? Like I said, he was both here and there, having first climbed a mountain like a monkey and then retreated to the wilderness to play with his new Tamagotchi.

The funny thing about Da's Tamagotchi is that it strikingly resembles the blob* from that Zoloft commercial of late. You know the one. Anyway, Da is learning a lot from his new Tamagotchi that he never could have learned as solely a native of Survivor Island. For instance, all he has to do is press the "Zoloft" button, and his Tamagotchi the Zoloft blob does a few things. A sampling of what such cause-and-effect teaches Da:

"You take drug and you be bouncing"
"You take drug and everybody your friend"
"You take drug and everybody like you"
"You take drug and socialize with unicorns"
"You take drug and fade in color"

To confirm these Tamagotchic teachings, Da (just last night) performed a case study with four cell phones -- three identical and outfitted with blingin' ring-tones (i.e. "My Boo" by Urshr & Alicia Keys) -- and one NOT identical and outfitted only with the capacity to send and receieve phone calls. When the latter took Zoloft, not only was there bouncing, but there was friendship. Da then performed another, parallel study, the subject this time being a music fan tragically unversed in Kid Rock's catalogue. With a little Zoloft, though (or Keystone Light) this subject was treated to lots of bouncing and socializing and musical revelry of the kind found only in Zoloft commercials.

Da felt validated in his studies and findings, despite his failure to witness any "fading of color." The only other thing Da learned from his obviously symbiotic relationship with the aforementioned crooning white women (and Slobs, I guess) is that if you take a picture, it will last longer.

*If you try really hard, you can find the Zoloft commercial on this site. Go to "animation" and then scroll down and click on the link to Pat Smith's commercial work. Then you be bouncing.