Cafe Bong, just south of Ardmore on Clark, treated us very sweetly on this our last night in Andersonville. After we'd emptied our wallets of a combined $7 cash & the Korean proprietress had downed her fourth tequila shot of the evening, our beerz were on the house as we karaoke'd to Toto, the Backtreet Boys and Like a Virgin for the oscillating amusement, horror and disregard of our fellow barmates. Perhaps I will celebrate my 25th there. Yes. No. Yes.

Maoxie OD'd on Catnip tonight, and our natural reaction was to dress shim in xer vestments of yore; a truncated pant leg with slits for armholes. Tomorrow ze's going to Erin & Ollie's for a trial separation month of rolling on Palatinean carpet. Also tomorrow we pack up all our earthly belongings and get out of dodge. And I interview to live in a co-op for the summer. All these things will be done fueled by Bong memories, naturally. I can't wait.

"There is a thing inherent and natural, which existed before heaven and earth. Motionless and fathomless, It stands alone and never changes; It pervades everywhere and never becomes exhausted. It may be regarded as the Mother of the Universe. I do not know its name. If I am forced to give it a name, I call it Tao, and I name it as supreme.." ~Laozi

The wisdom of [M]aozi really helped me SIVE* through the day, and for that fact I am thankful. Tiny steps in an unknown direction were made, fears were conquered, and the passive was used. Hooray!

*SIVE = Self Identification Via Elimination, a philosophy of life coined here in A-Ville and practiced largely by Jake. I do not SIVE on a regular basis, but I sure do try to SIVEOT (Self Identify Via Elimination of Toxins) as often as possible, particularly during Bikram. But I digress. Today I initiated the conclusion of one chapter of many moons of work-related SIVEing, and it was great. Big si[ve]gh (the v is si[ve]lent).

I flew into Reagan International last night, and it's been grey and rainy since my arrival. The 18 hours since taxiing on the tarmac have so far encompassed two driving tours through The District, some throwback dance moves at the Clarendon Ballroom, a lovely and extremely extended brunch with Jess and former fellow ILochen counselor A.Little (who lives something like a four- or five-minute drive away from J.Bev) and -- soon -- a nap. During brunch the conclusion was met that all of my friends must be simultaneously a) in MeatLoaf's band and b) on a Chinatown bus, while all of Little's friends must carry cans with strings (for telephonic purposes). These qualities we seek in our acquaintances are nearly mutually exclusive, which explains why we rarely communicate.

A large portion of yesterday was spent hoping that Chicago would win its 2016 Olympic Bid (link leads to inspirational youtube video -- much more soulful than LA's), and then wondering from the frisbee pitch if it had. Welllll, it DID and it's most certainly stirring. Hooray Chi '16!

After frizz on Saturday I decided ot blitz eastward to enjoy the rest of the holiday weekend with non-nuclear family. My blizzardy drive to Detroit was rewarded with nothing short of a sub-$3.00 butter lamb, hearkening upon conversations of yore whilst "ornating" Bruce & Becky's dining room table. Under the heated duress of a kitchen full o' cooking on a snowy April afternoon, the once featureless little creature metamorphosed into the primate-like gargoyle below. Innocence of the Christ-child indeed. AHHHH!




On Friday I got a new bici, and I love it. It's an old, svelte, maroon Bianchi mixte with newer wheels, good brakes and aluminium pedals. The ride is smooth and responsive and it's at least 50% lighter than my old Schwinn. Ron and Jim of Nearly New [Something] at Grace & Broadway were very good to me, staving off ogling potential buyers for a week while I thought over the purchase. Post-Bikram on Friday I decided it was time, and after a couple spins around the block I handed over my trusty Schwinn (I figure I logged around 2,000 miles on that little guy, but truthfully I was happy to see him go), signed up for a full summer of free parts and labor, and blitzed home. I enjoy it so, and am starting to become evangelical. A growing contingecy at work is learning that if they ask me daily about my ride I will make shameless efforts to draw them into my fold.


Jake's got a family friend in town so just now we (well, I only did a little) cleaned the apartment from top to bottom for the first time in many many moons. It's so amazingly cozy when it's been scrubbed and brushed. We've got just nineteen more days here (gasp!) and I hope to enjoy 'em as much as possible. Despite the unresponsive superintendant & strains of heavy Techno/Rock/Salsa/Pop/Hip-Hop/Bears/Chihuahuas/Screams that so often permeate our uninsulated ceiling and floorboards, I will miss this pleasant little womblike abode. Sigh. Time to move on.

As if xe wasn't sexually confused enough already, dear sweet Maoxie-DooDoo-Bigsies-Keifer-[Man]pie becomes a textbook androgyne at 8:00 tomorrow morning. Poor neutered baby.

Here I sit, parsing through The Key to Yoga by Walter B. Gibson.* Copyrighted in 1958, costing $1.45 at one point or another, stolen from my momma's collection and touting itself as "a modern treatment of an ancient subject, covered in an absorbing, understandable style," The Key to Yoga is an undeniable gem. And yet while I find it to be neither absorbing, particularly understandable, nor modern, it is informative, and I really like the cover illustration. Additionally, the list of Informative Books Which Will Introduce Interesting Hobbies and Other Subjects on the back of the dustjacket is wholly stimulating. A sampling:

#3107 - Lightning Jiu-jitsu, $1.00
#3112 - Papercraft for Fun, $1.00
#3115 - Fun for Boys, $1.00
#3116 - Fun for Girls, $1.00
#3143 - Home Experiments in Electricity, $2.00
#3171 - Key to Profitable Coin Collecting, $2.00
#3109 - How to Play the Trotters and Win, $2.00

If mom has any of these I sure do hope it's Home Experiments in Electricity, which sounds like something Maoxie would really enjoy in xer spare time.

In addition to attempting this book, I have been making rash decisions lately in the vein of waking up at 5:30 in order to squeeze some prime-time Bikram into my day, Bikramming after work, Bikramming after Ultimate (my team is 2-0-1, which is sooper!) and Bikramming before fashion shows. And that's that.

* Author of other esteemed tomes such as The Key to Hypnotism, The Book of Secrets, Houdini's Escapes, Houdini's Magic, etc.