We were watching a little Torino/Turin 2006 coverage at the household over the weekend, and it brought to mind the following (which is at least forty times more funny in audio):

"So many events in the olympics don't make sense to me, I don't understand their connection to any reality. Like in the winter olympics they have that biathlon. You know that one? That combines cross-country skiing with shooting a gun? How many alpine snipers are into this? To me it's like combining swimming and strangle a guy. Why don't we have that? That makes absolutely as much sense to me. Just put people in the pool at the end of each lane for the swimmers.

"And that other one that I love is the luge. You know the luge, where the guy wears that slick suit? This is on the bobsled run, but it's not even a sled -- it's just Bob! It's just a human being hanging on for their life -- this is the whole sport. Just "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" "Oh, he pointed his toes -- oh, this guy's a tremendous athlete." The luge is only sport I've ever seen that you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would be exactly the same. You know, if they were just grabbing people off the street, "Hey . . hey! What is this? I don't want to be in the luge!" You know, you put the helmet on 'em, you wouldn't really hear 'em screaming, just "You're in the luge, buddy." "Oooahhh aoohaoa oooohhhhh!" World Record! Didn't even wanna do it. I want to see that event next year: the Involuntary Luge."

-Jerry Seinfeld I'm Telling You For the Last Time