Yesterday I applied for the awesomest of awesome apartments. It's in a deliciously sweet location just north of Lakeview and has beautiful windows with stained glass details, a garden-level finished basement, copious amounts of sunlight, built-in shelves aside a faux (fawks)-fireplace, wooden floors and mint-green tile, acceptable proximinity to the Montrose stop on the Brown Line (map), ownership by a devoted ND subway alumnus, an amazingly fitting price and . . . a bathroom in the kitchen. Woah -- a bathroom in the kitchen?! What's that all about? I don't know either. But it doesn't matter; I would jubilantly shower in the sink every day for a year if it meant doing it in this apartment. I MEAN IT. Allegedly a couple other folk already applied, but I'm hoping winning charm and ND ties will get me in the door. GOSH.

Of course, this apartment does indeed violate some of the stringent parameters set with/by our comedic agent at the apartment people, those being:

1) A White Hen inside the building
2) An indoor pool
3) A fenced-in courtyard for the purpose of sunbathing
4) A Phoenix¹ lounge²

One may think these parameters impossible to meet but, in fact, we have seen each of them in some form at least once. But never all four together. It's almost too much to hope for.

¹As an addendum to prior posts, of interest to perhaps only Lizett, and according to copious googling, allegedly there should be NO plural for the word phoenix because according to mytholody there is never more than one Phoenix in existance at any one time.
²One surrounded on three sides by windows